Cycling Team

2011 Season

Last year, our riders won La Route de France, Internationale Thüringen Rundfahrt der Frauen, the Tour of New Zealand, GP Elsy Jacobs, GP de Suisse, the chick versions of de Ronde and Fleche Wallonne, and carried home 8 national championships and one rainbow jersey.

So far this year, we've won the first two World Cup races of the season (Trofeo Alfredo Binda and de Ronde van Vlaanderen), Trofeo Costa Etrusca, Trofeo Vannucci Alberto, and the stage race Gracia Orlova.

Wait 'til you see what we're going to do next!

Meet the team:

SlipperTrack! Chamois Full of Bliss has accepted a bet from Team Lady Marmottes, in which the team that scores the fewest points over the season provides a poor middle-class underprivileged Swedish child mountain goat hunter? purveyor of fine IKEA kitchen knives? pirate ship cabin boy??? [conflicting reports are under investigation] with a pair of slippers. Follow the status of the teams here:

June 5: Lots of races today! Lizzie Armitstead took 6th place in the World Cup race GP Ciudad de Valladolid for a solid 200 points, while Shelley Olds added the same for her 2nd place in the Liberty Classic. A number of minor placings in both races added points for Annemiek Van Vleuten, Cath Cheatley, and Grace Verbeke as well. The team is currently 5th in the overall rankings, but we've increased our lead over the sweet little Marmottes considerably.

Sadly, the Lady Marmottes continue to plummet down the charts (56th place!), and we currently have an investigative team following their every move in an effort to determine why what should be a killer team fails--over and over and over--to produce more  points. Stay tuned for some shocking revelations!

Bliss 7822-Marmottes 5630

May 15: Wow! The Tour of Chongming Island and associated World Cup race were absolutely Bliss-full! In the stage race, Annemiek Van Vleuten and Monia Baccaille took two spots in the final podium, and the team placed 3 riders in the top 6 of the WC race--including 2nd place for Lizzie Armitstead! Lizzie is obviously on fire right now, and Annemiek's 4th place finish was enough to once again vault her to the top of the World Cup rankings. In the general competition, Chamois Full of Bliss now one of only 3 teams to break 7000 points.

Marmottes, apparently, don't much like China, and have slunk their way down to 51st place. I'd say they must be in a hell of a state...but you know, there are only 50 of those.

Bliss 7122-Marmottes 4715

May 11:  The Tour of Chongming Island is now underway, and Lizzie Armitstead has won the first stage! Not only that, her Bliss teammate Annemiek Van Vleuten took the third step of the podium, and both Monia Baccaille and Cherise Taylor are currently sitting in the top ten for GC. Go, Bliss!

A couple of minor races last week failed to shift the team from our 3rd place spot, but we wince to report that the marmottes are again excluded from the top 40. In an effort to remain positive, we offer the following tribute to DS Willj:

1. He sure does climb a lot of mountains!

2. Will takes awesome pictures!

3. And he rocks a cow-print kit!

Go, Willj! Team Chamois Full of Bliss salutes your courage in not giving up and slinking away, despite the utterly dismal showing of your poor (but plucky!) little band of rodents.

Bliss 5913 5907 (Armitstead is not leading GC in Chongming, as was originally reported on the site I checked)-Marmottes 4260

May 1: Huge congrats to Tatiana Antoshina, for winning the Cat 3 stage race Gracia-Orlova! That, with solid placings for Annemiek Van Vleuten in the Luxembourg races solidified our top 3 ranking in the overall competition (although Fieldy has snuck past us again...we'll see about that!).

Awww...the Lady Marmottes have limped back into 40th place, by the slimmest of margins (5 teensy-weensy little points) over 41st place. We salute you!

Bliss 5857-Marmottes 4250

April 25: Points trickled in over the weekend, bolstering our podium spot in the overall comp, and then today Monia Baccaille took 3rd in GP della Liberazione, giving us just the boost we needed to regain second place after briefly letting Fieldy borrow it.

Marmottes, Marmottes, Marmottes...oh, dear. The poor little things have crashed below 40th place, and I doubt their spirits will ever recover. I'm sure they're utterly, utterly devastated, so I won't linger over how incredibly crushed and defeated they must be feeling today. I just cringe to think of the team meeting--the shouting, the recriminations, the tears...but let's not dwell on such unpleasant things. There must be something positive we can say about the Lady Marmottes--so we'll think really hard and get back to you on it.

Bliss 5170-Marmottes 3610.

April 20:  Midweek update: Annemiek Van Vleuten improved on last year's 12th place by taking 6th at Fleche Wallonne, while Olga Zabelinskaya did her usual best to liven up the race with a late attack, and was rewarded with 12th. Without the sadly-missed Emma Pooley, though, Bliss has dropped slightly in the overall rankings to 2nd. But we're still beating the hell out of the Marmottes.

Bliss 4790-Marmottes 3320.

April 17: Ouchies! Not a good day for Bliss--out of the 1330 points up for grabs today in two Cat 5 races, we managed to snag only 50, and are now forced to share the top step of the podium in the general competition with The Stylish Babes. Even worse, Emma Pooley broke her collar bone, and will be unable to defend her Fleche Wallonne title. Get well soon, Emma! Still, the ever-dependable Grace Verbeke came in 7th at Halle-Buizingen, and Cherise Taylor scored her first points at Ronde van Gelderland, so it could have been worse.

Speaking of worse, the poor little Marmottes' claws are scrabbling desperately to hold onto the top 40. We'd shed a tear, but Emma just called and wants a nice bowl of stew. Bliss 4440-Marmottes 2890.

April 10: The team cruised through GP de Dottignies last week, taking 2nd, 3rd, and 6th to boost our lead in the general competition. Today, they finished the Cat 3 Energiewacht Tour with three riders in the top 10. Despite a low point total in the stage race, Bliss continues to lead the league!

The dear little fuzzy ones are doing their plucky best to keep spirits up! We can only sympathize with their dramatic fall from 35th allllllllll the way down to 37th place. Perhaps their DS had been spending too much time on low-oxygen mountaintops before picking his team? Bliss 3500-Marmottes 2020.

April 3: Deepest apologies to my team! I honestly didn't see how they could better last week's 1110 points in Alfredo Binda...BUT THEY DID!!!! Today in de Ronde van Vlaanderen, Bliss smashed the field, taking 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 15th, and 16th places for a whopping 1185 points. Whew! Chamois Full of Bliss takes the WVDS lead, and is the first team to break 3,000 points in the competition.

The Marmottes...huh. Not their bestest day, perhaps, although according to their DS, when his first version of the team was declared illegal by the authorities, he rushed to copy today's winner, Annemiek Van Vleuten, from our team. Nice try, Will! That keeps your rodents barely in sight of us. Bliss 3110-Marmottes 1645.

March 27: TOTAL BLISS AT TROFEO BINDA!!! Chamois Full of Bliss utterly dominated the first World Cup race of the season, taking 1st, 3rd, 5th, 8th, 13th, and 16th places for a total of 1110 points on the day. We've now climbed in the overall ranking from 14th last week to 2nd place today!

The poor rodentia are, well, thankful they also have Shelley Olds. Bliss 1925-Marmottes 1160.

Disturbing rumors about the "underprivileged Swedish child" who will be the beneficiary of my and Willj's fight for WVDS supremacy continue to reach these shores. Not only is he older and somewhat less needy than we originally thought, he may be a renowned hunter of mountain goats, or possibly a cutlery salesman. If the former, you'd think he could make his own damned slippers out of the pelts. Still, a deal's a deal...

March 20: Double the Bliss! Shelley Olds and Grace Verbeke went 1-2 in Costa Etrusca today, adding 275 points to the team's total, while Olga Z. and Emma P. battled their way into the top 10 for another 40. Total for the day: a whopping 315 points! That's enough to move us up 10 places in the general competition, to 14th place.

And as for the sad bedraggled Marmottes...well, we were kind enough to share Shelley's points with them to save them from utter misery. Perhaps they scored a few points from someone else, too--we forget. Bliss 815-Marmottes 555.

March 13: After a quiet last week, when neither Bliss nor the Marmottes scored points, Monia Baccaille won the Trofeo Vannucci Alberto to rocket us even further past the rodents! Shelley Olds again scored for both teams--can't she make up her mind? Bliss 500-Marmottes 345.

In the overall comp, Chamois Full of Bliss is comfortably tied for 24th place, while the Lady Marmottes are clinging to the 48th spot by their little claws.

February 28: The final criterium of the Tour of New Zealand (not counted for general classification by the UCI, but still scored for VDS) gave Cath Cheatley another 25 points. Bliss 370-Marmottes 315.

In the overall competition (currently led by bethie), Chamois Full of Bliss ranks 26th, while the Lady Marmottes are tied for 35th out of 132 teams.

February 26: Final general classification for the Tour of New Zealand piles 180 points onto Cath Cheatley's total, giving her a whopping 240-point return for her 1-point cost. Go, Cath! Van Vleuten and Verbeke contributed by finishing 6th and 9th at the women's Het Nieuwsblad. We are still a comfortable 30 points ahead of the Marmottes, but if Grace Verbeke's handlebars hadn't broke... Bliss 345-Marmottes 315.

February 25: Shelley Olds scores for both teams, but Cheatley sneaks in third to increase our lead over the poor beleaguered Marmottes. Bliss 85-Marmottes 45.

There are rumors from our European correspondents suggesting that the 'poor underprivileged Swedish child' may be somewhat older and more prosperous than indicated when we accepted the bet. However, we do imagine that even Swedes have the occasional bad day, and that he'll enjoy whatever slippers Willj picks out for him.

February 24 (well, it is in NZ): See that chart above? Double it. Cheatley and Corset went 2-3 again in the 2nd stage of the Tour of New Zealand. Bliss 50-Marmottes 20.

February 23: Bliss takes an early lead, trouncing the rodents in the first stage of the Tour of New Zealand. Can the Lady Marmottes recover? We say no. Bliss 25-Marmottes 10.

Tip of the week--get your protein!

Cycling burns off a lot of calories, and sometimes you need a protein fix to rebuild the muscle you've torn down in intensive training. After a hard day in the saddle, our team loves to tuck into a nice bowl of...

Marmotte Stew

1 1/2 pounds thickly sliced bacon, diced
6 pounds boneless marmotte, cut into 2 inch pieces
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 large onion, chopped
1/2 cup water
4 cups marmotte stock
2 teaspoons white sugar
4 cups diced carrots
2 large onions, cut into bite-size pieces
3 potatoes
1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 bay leaves
1 cup white wine
Directions

Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble, and set aside.
Put marmotte, salt, pepper, and flour in large mixing bowl. Toss to coat meat evenly. Brown meat in frying pan with bacon fat.

Place meat into stock pot (leave 1/4 cup of fat in frying pan). Add the garlic and yellow onion and saute till onion begins to become golden. Deglaze frying pan with 1/2 cup water and add the garlic-onion mixture to the stock pot with bacon pieces, marmotte stock, and sugar. Cover and simmer for 1 1/2 hours.

Add carrots, onions, potatoes, thyme, bay leaves, and wine to pot. Reduce heat, and simmer covered for 20 minutes until vegetables are tender.

(Are you afraid yet, Willj?)

Chamois Full of Bliss is not endorsed or authorized by the truly awesome product made by DZ Nuts--but you know, Dave, it could be! My contact details are right there on Podium Cafe. Just click on 'majope.' Honest. You give your blessing, maybe throw a couple of tubes of Bliss my way--I really do use it, check your order records--and I'll be sure to talk it up on the Cafe. Bigtime. Win-win, right?