Ask the Black Unicorn for help!
(The Black Unicorn)

Ask The Black Unicorn
The Black Unicorn has powerful jinxing mojo and a fondness for meddling in cycling, but he is very capricious (face it: dependability and trustworthiness are so very White Unicorn--but just try to get a jinx out of that prissy little #%&@). For best results, be very specific about what you want him to do, to whom you want the jinx applied--and think hard about what price you might be willing to pay (I understand the Black Unicorn is very fond of libations--particularly Belgian ales--but if you happen to be having a barbecue, a burnt offering of a couple overdone ribs might do the trick). Then click the bar below for your answer. Who knows? He might say yes. Then he might actually do it.

Disclaimer: the Black Unicorn had nothing to do with any recent CAS decisions, nor with the new Lotto shorts. He did not cause Cummings to break his pelvis, nor Roelandts to put the down in Tour Down Under. He doesn't even watch 'cross. All the lawyers on PdC cannot possibly prove otherwise. But should someone out there, say, be short a payment or two for services rendered...now would be a real good time to settle up. Got it?




Not sure you're ready to deal with the dark side? Perhaps you want the White Unicorn instead.

"Magic 8 Ball" code by Tony Kepler; this version modified from one copyright © 1997-2000 A Girl's World Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.

Sadly, the "Good vs. Evil Unicorn" Play Set is not currently available at Archie McPhee. Go shop there anyway.